Archives for posts with tag: motivation

In life we all make decisions. Unfortunately, we do not always make the best choice. Under pressure, with the clock winding down, we miss the last shot to win the game. We have our opportunity. We have our chance. We take the shot. We miss the mark. We lose. And it alters our lives direction.

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I’m sure many of us can relate to giving something our best shot and it not working. The relationship, the job, the business, the class. Oftentimes, we get stuck in our moment of failure. We continuously hear the buzz signaling the end of the game in our ears–a reminder of our lost, what could have been and our reality.  Oftentimes, we live in regret.

When we think of where we could have been if we never met such and such or did such and such or listened to such and such, we question our lives. We mull over the less than stellar choices we have made. We trick ourselves into believing that our past disqualifies us from having a bountiful future. But we must recognize a redirection of our route does not change our destination.

How many times have you used a GPS and made a wrong turn? Your GPS acknowledges the wrong turn and redirects you back to your destination, even if it is not on the same course. We must do the same. Acknowledge and move forward.

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Copyright 2014 by Morgan Smalls of mosmalls.wordpress.com. All rights reserved.

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I was in a long-term, dead-end relationship with my laptop and dealt with a lot of viruses, malware, fan breaking and keys falling off the keyboard. My computer would work well for a while and then it would randomly shut down; it did not matter if I was in the midst of crafting a very important document- when it shut down I would lose all the data I was in the process of completing. I endured all of this for several reasons: One was because I had invested in my computer. It was mine. I bought it. I didn’t think I could afford a new one. Therefore, I reasoned that I would make the best out of a bad situation. I would always have a flash drive– a backup. I also invested time and money to fix my computer; Selfishly and maybe even unrealistically I wanted a return on my investment.

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At my new job, my office did not use PC’s; instead they used the Macintosh operating systems (MAC)–because the prior person who worked there preferred those.  I did not like the MAC; I had never used a MAC. My first day at work, I didn’t even know how to cut the thing on and I was too embarrassed to ask anyone so I called a friend who could aid me.

In frustration, I would leave my office and go into the lobby and use the PC.  But as time passed and I became more comfortable with the features of the MAC, the more I noticed the things I could do with it that I could never do with a PC. Hence, it took a while, but I appreciated the benefits of having a MAC and now I am not too sure if I could go back to a PC.

Often, we treat people in our lives like the PC. We stick with them even though they are toxic; we patch up things we know we should just leave alone. We feel like we have put so much work into a relationship that we want a return on our investment. We selfishly believe that the person owes us something or vice versa. Often, we stay and deal with what we have, and  even if we are introduced to something better- we reject the notion.

Why? Glad you asked.

The Learning Curve:  Like my relationship with the MAC, it’s a lot of work forming  new relationships. It takes mutual time, sacrifice and interest. You have to learn a lot about another person and that can only come through time and effort. It’s easier to go with what you know, but sometimes to get what you need, you have to be willing to learn. You learn through exposure. How do you know what you want or need if you have not exposed yourself to more? That way, you can articulate those sentiments to others.

(Sidenote: I could not ask my MAC to be a PC and I could not turn my PC into a MAC. People are who they are. Take that for what it is.)

The Fear: Many of us leave jobs, situations, relationships willingly, while others of us are forced to do so. No matter the reason for leaving a situation, the thought of giving up what you have (tangible) for something you do not have (intangible) is scary. Particularly, when you do not know when or if that someone/something better will ever surface. It’s hard to give up what you know with the hopes that something better will come along. Do not allow fear to make you settle. Why settle when you do not have to.

The Cost: There is a cost associated with a MAC, that is not associated with a PC. Truthfully, many of us are not willing to pay the cost. And trust, if you think I am speaking in monetary terms,  you probably missed the point of this entire article. There is a cost involved in stepping outside of the familiar and attaining better.  Greater investment. Greater rewards.

I’m not telling you what I think. I’m telling you what I have experienced/ am experiencing.

Love is like a MacBook. Are you settling for a PC?

With Love,

M.S.

*This article in no way is meant to dissuade from the purchase of any type of computer; it is merely a simile*

Too often, we settle. Women, Men, Young and Not so Young, for whatever reason we do it. We trick ourselves into believing that our current state of unhappiness and displeasure is where we are destined to be. That it’s the best life can offer to us — so we willingly accept it.

Don’t get me wrong– this is not something we say to ourselves as we look in the mirror in the midst of teeth brushing, hair combing, makeup applying, or face shaving. No, we do this way before our feet touch the floor at the dawn of a new day.images-1

Why?

Maybe it is because we forget that each day is an unique day. Each day is the most important day in our lives, right here, right now for two very important reasons:

1. Today is a brand new day that we have never seen before. It is unlike any other. It is a time to try again, to use past falls, stumbles, and triumphs as building blocks for the future.

2. Today is a day we won’t ever see again once it is complete. We won’t ever get the chance to experience today again. There is no re-do, no rewind button on time. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.

I’ve learned that time is precious, valuable and we can’t get it back. For that reason, we have to use it wisely–o so wisely.

Don’t settle today, tomorrow or any day henceforth because we are not meant to live like zombies in a state of unhappiness and displeasure–and not even know it. We are meant to live full in all areas– so if you have settled in your personal, professional, familial, spiritual, or any aspect of our lives– pursue better, obtain better, and accept better when it’s offered.

I stand in agreement that your life can and will be better.

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Happy Monday!

With love,

M.S.