Have you ever been excited about going to an event? You get dressed, look nice, smell nice and believe it will be a great experience. This event could be a concert, a church event, a forum, a movie, etc. You sit down to prepare yourself for the amazing moment at hand and then recognize your experience has been impeded. Why? Because the person you are sitting beside is one of the 4 people I am about to discuss. These people ruin events and I would like to ask that these types of people are designated to a particular spot in any venue.

1. Talkative Tammy/Thomas-

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This person does not know how to enjoy an event without talking. More specifically, he or she tries to converse with you. They tend to ask ridiculous questions such as, “Did you see that?” “What did he say?” “Oh, this reminds me of a time when….” “What’s the scripture?” “Where we at in the program?” Now, I will answer questions but I will not hold an entire conversation with you about the event or any other random tidbit you feel compelled to share. Stop it! Now, we both lost because I was listening to you instead of paying attention. I once was sitting by a friend and just blatantly ignored her throughout the event. I guess she assumed I couldn’t hear her, so she sent me a text message. And she was sitting less than a foot away from me. Um..no..

2. Eyeing Eunice/Ernest-

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This person has a serious eye problem. Or maybe they got the eye..I got the problem (Ya’ll remember that childhood saying) If we are in church and the pastor says turn to your neighbor, WHY am I the only one turning? Oh, that’s because you don’t have to turn because you have been staring all around the church and at my side profile the entire service. I’m going to need you to participate in the service. Look ahead. Look up. But don’t LOOOK at me the entire service. I want your head to swivel when the pastor asks you about turning to your neighbor.

3. Nosey Nancy/ Noah-

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Okay, I admit. I check my phone while I’m in church. Yeah, yeah, I know I shouldn’t. I should focus. But what we are not going to do is focus on that. Instead, let’s focus on the fact that you’re in my cell phone every time I check it. (red herring) I mean, you are not an usher, who walked up on my friend like a thug in church and told her, “Shut it down!” in reference to her cell phone… Excuse me, whet? Not what…whet? Now I may not have agreed with the usher’s tactics, but I understood the reasoning. Since you are not an usher (because if you were you would be standing beside the door, handing me a fan, passing me a tissue or something like that) why are you in my cell phone? Why are you not focusing on the service? Mind your business. Geez.

4. Critical Charlene/Charles-

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This is the person who always has something to say about the service. They tend to interrupt the flow of service with their mumbles, grumbles, and complaints. “Why they taking up 2 offerings?” “Why the pastor daughter up there singing? You know she can’t sing.” “Why does she have on that club outfit?” I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. I’m watching just like you are. So stop asking!

 

 

Have you had the pleasure of sitting by any of the four aforementioned people? Maybe you have sat by one person who has all of those personalities wrapped into one. If that is the case, may the force be with you and may you have the option to change your seat! What other personality types am I missing? Share your story with me.

With love,

M.S.

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