For a while, I had been asking God to give me some sort of guidance and direction in my life. I had been praying about it and seeking the advice of family and friends all to no avail. Each person seemed to have a different opinion about what I should do with my life. Each person gave me their honest opinion, but that still was not enough. Each conversation with one person led me in a different direction than the previous conversation with another and I was done with asking others about my life. After all, it’s my life so whatever decision I do or don’t make should be based on me since I’m the one who has to deal with the repercussions, good or bad.

I had watched enough on-line sermons, read enough passages out the Bible, and  prayed enough, etc.  to satisfy my desire to hear about what the Lord was going to do and I was tired of not having an answer to my question.

So, I had gotten to the place where I decided to just let the chips fall where they may and not really focus on my life after graduation. I was living with the mentality “what will be, will be.”

I heard nothing back from the Lord and figured there was no need to ask anymore because I had already asked for a while. I mean, I seriously asked, dang near pleaded to know what was in store for me. Still I heard nothing, not even a whisper.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I was not expecting God to come down from Heaven to sit in my living room and have a heart to heart session with me. I just figured in some way, shape or form, He would have let me know by now. I mean, time’s ticking. I need to make plans and preparation for my future. I didn’t know what more was expected of me, especially since I had tried the whole “seeking His (God’s) face” part of the scripture so I was waiting on the “all other things should be added” part.  I no longer prayed about it. I no longer asked God for direction. I just was done with the uncertainty and figured I wasn’t about to continue to ask the same question and continue to not get an answer. So maybe I was supposed to not know.

Before I returned to school, I decided to go to a different church with my Dad. As we sat in the back of a small church with only about twenty people there, I wished I would have just gone to my regular church.

But, as I sat and the youth choir (which was actually five kids) sang the song, “Turn Around,” and “Emmanuel,” I couldn’t help but get a little emotional. I don’t know, I guess the lyrics got to me.

Despite my initial reaction, the church had a good guest speaker. She was a lady I had never seen before. She preached on the topic “In his presence” and the sermon was taken from (I have to find my Bible in my bags that I packed but I will fill it in later).

Near the end of her sermon, she points in my direction and asks me to come to the front of the church because she wanted to speak to me.Hesitant, I went up front as this stranger told me things about myself that no one else in that building would have known but God and my Dad. She talked to me about my fears and my uncertainties and my hopes and my desires. She talked to me about questionable friends and career paths and my finances.

What she told me made me cry. Not because she told me anything bad, but because she identified the specific things I had been dealing with in my life and the answers to specific questions I wanted to know.

As I returned to my seat, I noticed that my Dad was also a little teary eyed.

We left church and road home in silence.

When we made it home, he came into my room and said, “Missy, did you know her?”

“No, I’ve never seen her before.”

“Oh, that’s crazy how she knew all that stuff.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, Missy, we were just talking about those things she mentioned a few days ago.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know how she knew about that.”

“Must be God.”

As our conversation ended and he left my room, I knew that I had received an answer to some of  my questions and I was filled with a serenity I cannot explain. God is real. Believe what you want, but as for me, “Yes, God is real for I can feel Him in my soul.”

 

Advertisements